Tested, But Not Defeated

Life keeps handing me exams I never asked for—but I refuse to fail.

Life has tested me constantly.
I’ve been tested every six months on my piloting skills.
Tested at least every two weeks through bloodwork.
Tested every day as a parent to a 5-year-old and an 11-month-old.
And now, tested again—by breast cancer, re-diagnosed as Stage IV.

But being tested is nothing new for me. I had a rough childhood, marked by years of trials most people wouldn’t believe. I always say I’m not sure how I’m not dead or in jail—though I came close more than once. And yet, somehow, I always managed to survive. To scrape by. To pass the test—sometimes barely, but I passed. Because life keeps moving, whether you do or not.

My mom often tells me, “I want to be like you when I grow up.”
I laugh. But what other choice do I have?
Giving up just isn’t in my blood.

And now, with two little boys watching me—learning from how I respond to adversity—I know the only option is to fight through. I want them to know they have warrior blood running through their veins. Just like their mama. Because the more I’m tested, the harder I come back.

The second diagnosis… the words “Stage IV”… it knocked the breath out of me.
I spiraled. I cried. I tormented myself with the “what ifs.”
Would I see my boys grow up?
Would they lose their mom before they even knew me?
Would my wife be okay? Would she have to carry the weight of it all alone?

I tried to stay positive. But when I was alone, the tears came anyway.

Until one day, I said: enough.

I’ve never given up on a test in my life, and I sure as hell wasn’t about to start now.

Back in 2020, I faced Stage 1 breast cancer. Looking back, maybe that was the universe trying to warn me, whispering for change. I didn’t hear it then. But this time? Message received. Loud and clear.

I’m not just surviving—I’m living. And I’ve taken back the wheel.

I’ve devoured books by integrative oncologists and cancer survivors who found their own versions of healing. I switched to a plant-based diet. Quit drinking. Built a home gym. I lift weights. I do yoga. I cold plunge. I sauna. I lay on a PEMF mat. I take supplements. I go to therapy. I’m saying yes to anything that won’t harm me—because what if it helps?

This isn’t a phase. It’s a lifelong commitment.
A full-life overhaul.
Because I am in this to win it.

I will be here for my boys.
I will be here for my wife.
I will be here—for ME.

What’s next?

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